nobody understands how much i miss my nana. i miss her so much and i would do anything to call her and tell her everything. i wish i had more time. i dream about her but then i wake up and shes not there. i cant get the image of the last time i saw her out of my head. it was awful. she was in so much pain and i know shes in a better place now but i need her… 

she was my only grand-parent i ever had. now i have nobody. except for boyfriend, but he forgot about our phone date tonight. i miss him too, but it’s different because eventually i will get to see him again. but until then our only way of communicating is either facebook or when he borrows a friends phone to call me. and i waited for him to call at 10:30 tonight with a list of  random things that happened in the past few days that i wanted to tell him but he sent me a facebook message that said he forgot because he was playing video games with his friends…i guess i was looking foward to it more than he was. fuck, i even wrote it in my student planner.

i wish my friends were here. i miss them too. they would make me feel better.

why didn’t my mom ask me how my first day back at school was today? or how my first day of my new babysitting job was today? because today made me nervous but nobody asked. god, im so fucking lonely and it’s pathetic.

and i wish i wasnt feeling sorry for myself because i HATE it when i do that. i want need someone to be with me right now.